


Politics is Murder

by Cinder



Category: Veep
Genre: F/M, spy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 20:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1318450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinder/pseuds/Cinder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a job as high risk as Vice President, Selina needs someone to call on if there are any threats to her. That someone happens to be Amy Brookheimer, her most trusted and loyal spy. Amy can take out assassins, spies, and psychopaths. Yet, her biggest challenge comes with trying to work with Dan Egan, who thinks he's going to be the American James Bond.</p><p>Also known as the spy AU where Dan and Amy still bicker endlessly while trying to kill people for Selina. It goes about as well as you would expect.</p><p>*</p><p>Based on timetravelings awesome photoset, which can be found on their Tumblr.</p><p>Also, a big thanks to diaphenia, who let me bounce ideas off her and helped tell me what worked and what didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The moment Amy walked through the door, she knew there was going to be trouble.

“How do you feel about killing someone this weekend?” Selina asked, rolling a cigarette between her fingers.

Of course, that was another pretty solid sign that something was up.

“Did the Helsinki Prime Minster’s husband feel you up again?” Amy was willing to kill for her boss, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to start a political crisis. It was mostly her job to end them. For over half her career, she had been ending crises for Selina. 

“No. It’s something different.” Selina’s face was nearly obscured by smoke, but Amy could hear the grimness in her voice. “It’s time for another weekend retreat, Ame.” 

Amy took a deep breath, trying to hold back the sudden rush of adrenaline and dread in her stomach. She had been doing these for as long as Selina had been a Senator, but the same feelings popped up again every time. 

Normally Senators didn’t get protection, but Selina had always been willing to step on a few toes in order to go after what she wanted, and it made her unpopular. After finally agreeing to get protection after a failed attempt on her life, Amy had been recommended to Selina. Young, a little green, but good with a gun and one of the most intelligent new recruits the government had to offer. Technically, she'd be one of Selina’s Secret Service agents, protecting Selina from threats. 

And not so technically, she’d sneak off for a weekend to eliminate the threats before they even got to Selina. 

Although she had been trained by and had a government job, there wasn’t exactly an official organization Amy belonged to - technically, her job didn’t exist. She became whatever Selina needed at the moment - bodyguard, intelligence agent, assassin. 

Although lately, ever since Selina had become Vice President and her entire job was to not step on any toes, Amy hadn’t had as many secret weekends. The advantage was that she didn’t spend the rest of her weekends trying to get blood out of her best suit. 

“Catherine was nearly abducted today.” Selina said, drawing Amy straight out her thoughts and back to the suddenly alarming present. 

“That’s never happened before.” Amy said. Most people went after Selina, just trying to shoot her. “An abduction would indicate that they would want a ransom from you. They don’t want you to die...” Amy mused. “At least, not until you would give them your money.”

“No shit, Watson.” Selina snapped, clearly on edge. 

“It’s Sherlock, ma’am.” A soft voice said.

Amy swiveled in her chair, hand automatically going to her gun until she saw that Selina’s corrector had only been Gary. He was standing in the doorway with a traumatized look on his face.

“For fuck’s sake Gary, I thought you were an assassin.” Amy hissed.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Gary mumbled. “That’s what you were trying to say.”

“What? Gary, what the fuck are you doing here? This is a private meeting!” Selina spat, stubbing her cigarette into the couch’s very expensive fabric. 

Amy leaned back into the couch, no longer tense. Gary had known about Amy’s job for years - they had never outright talked about it, but he could put the clues together. Although he was so devoted to Selina, that Amy was pretty sure that he just closed his ears when she was arranging another person’s death.

“I just wanted to let you know that Agent Egan is here.” Gary mumbled, retreating.

“What?” At this, Amy actually did pull out her gun.

“Ame.” Selina said, attempting to calm her down.

“Ma’am, you know that I am perfectly capable of taking out a kidnapper.” Amy said. “Remember Madrid?”

“Number one, Madrid was three years ago. Number two, this isn’t just about Catherine, which I am going to explain once you put the gun down and let Dan walk into the room. Number three, you sure as fuck l need help, considering what happened a year ago.” 

Amy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, ignoring the sudden pain that radiated from her shoulder. A year ago she had been dispatched to Paris for a mission. It was supposed to be a simple one: basic observation and then to shoot the target at the end of the weekend if he was determined to be a threat.

But she hadn’t gone on a mission in months and was slightly rusty. That’s what everyone said was what had gotten her shot. Her attacker had crept up on her from behind, and she had barely managed to shoot him back before passing out. She had eliminated her target, but caused a hell of a mess. She woke up in the hospital 2 days later and on probation.

Fucking Paris.

What made it even worse was the way Selina had looked at her after the mission. A mixture of irritation and sympathy. The irritation didn’t phase Amy, that was the emotional level her boss was set to 90 percent of the time. The sympathy though... Amy hated it. It was her job to keep threats from Selina, and her slip up could have meant dire consequences if she hadn’t acted fast. Even though every single agent like her had an array of scars and bullet wounds, it didn’t make Amy feel any better. Just because other agents like her screwed up, didn’t mean she should have.

Agent Egan walked into the room, the smirk that was permanently engraved on his face seeming even smarmier today. 

“Ma’am.” He said, with a bow of his head towards Selina. Never mind that he saw her at least once a week to check in with her. He gave a mere tilt of the head towards Amy. “Agent Brookheimer. How’s your shoulder?”

“Fine.” Amy balled her hands into fists in order to keep from reaching for her gun.

“Dan, as you should remember, is in charge of Catherine’s security. He was the one responsible for keeping her from abduction today.” Selina said. 

“It was close. Five abductors, cleverly plotted, all armed. I was nearly shot.” He paused and then looked at Amy. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring back any old memories.” He sat down next to her on the couch, too close for comfort. “You know, with you almost dying.” 

“A shoulder wound doesn’t always mean death.” Amy said, scooting away from him. “If you want, I can shoot you there and you can see for yourself.” 

“Hey!” Selina snapped, making the agents look at her. “My daughter was almost kidnapped for God knows what reason today. If you two want to shoot each other and eye fuck, do it on your own time!” She took a deep breath as Gary ran in with tea to calm her. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” She waved it away and pulled out another cigarette instead. “Just get me Mike.”

Dan’s face suddenly slid into a look of panic, something Amy greatly enjoyed. 

“Mike? Ma’am, are you sure he’s the best one to be our contact for this mission?” Dan tried to control the nervousness in his voice, but Amy could hear it.

“Mike’s the oldest agent we have.” Amy snapped back at him. To be honest, she agreed with Dan, but she would rather have gotten shot again than admit it. Mike wasn’t exactly the prime agent he used to be. “He’s got years of service, and he knows what’s he’s doing.”

“Yeah.” Dan muttered. “Oldest. He’s slipping up, from what I hear.” He not so subtly glanced at her shoulder, evidently trying to imply that Mike wasn’t the only one slipping up.

Amy felt her temper growing. “If you have a problem with our team-”

“There will be no problems.” Selina said, looking at both of them. “Sure, Mike’s getting...somewhat rusty, but Amy’s right. He’s been doing this job for almost 30 years, and, most importantly, he’s absolutely trustworthy.” 

She handed both of them files. “Thanks to the information from the abductors that Dan caught, you two are going to Minnesota.”

A look at Dan’s face, and Amy immediately knew that he had been hoping for somewhere more exotic, such as Rome, Venice, Paris. Oh thank God it wasn’t Paris.

“We’ve linked one of the abductors to Governor Chung. He’s hosting a fundraising party in a few days at his home, and you’re going to go as guests, and to see if we need to take him out.” 

“Chung? As in the great Governor Chung that half the country has a hard-on for, and who wants your job?” Amy said, immediately feeling happier. She had never liked him anyway, had always sensed something fake about him. Granted, she thought that was just the general air of inauthenticity that hung around politicians...

“I think that has something to do with it.” Selina said, finally emptying her pack of cigarettes. In the corner, Gary looked greatly relieved, only for his smile to fade as Selina pulled out another pack that was tucked under the couch.

“Ma’am, I’ve worked security for Chung.” Dan looked less pleased than Amy. “One of his staffers? Sure. But Chung himself? He’s in line to be President...” Dan immediately switched tracks at the look on Selina’s face “...in the next twenty or thirty years. Why would he jeopardize his career like this?”

“I don’t know. That’s your fucking job.” Selina said, his face becoming lost again in a cloud of smoke. “Go to Minnesota. See if Chung’s a threat. And if he tried to hurt my daughter...” Selina leaned forward through the smoke, only her sharp eyes visible, “you know what to do.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Amy said, standing up. She walked out of the room, Dan scurrying beside her. “Keep up. And if you try to hit on me this weekend, I’ll shoot you.”

“You sure you can aim with that shoulder?”

“Stand right there and we’ll figure it out, fuckwad.”

Selina sat back in her chair, finishing off her cigarette. Gary hurried forward with an ashtray.

“There go the two best agents I have, off to save my family.” 

She paused, taking one last inhale off the cigarette.

“I am completely fucked.”


	2. Chapter 2

Once, a very long time ago, Mike had been one of the best agents in the business. In his prime, he had been a part of several high stakes operations, and had once even thrown himself between Selina and a knife wielding assassin (whenever he retold that story, the knife was upgraded to a machine gun and nunchucks). 

But years of secrets and bloody missions had worn Mike down, and now he stayed at the office, relaying instructions to younger agents. There were some that took to the job with ease, like Kent and Ben, who moved smoothly out of active field work to take a place in the office. Mike, on the other hand, didn’t adjust so well. Dan always said that Mike had gotten smacked in the head one too many times on his missions. Amy scoffed when he said that, but there were times when she secretly agreed with him.

Like now, when he was attempting to lay out a highly dangerous and complex plan, while using a jelly doughnut as a pointer. 

“Chung is hosting a fundraiser at his house in Montana. He’ll be so busy sucking everyone’s dick for money, he’ll never notice some low level donators are going to be breaking off from the party and sneaking into the private areas of his house.” Mike handed folders to Amy and Dan. Amy opened hers to see the papers inside were all stuck together with jelly and powdered sugar. Lovely.

“You two will be going as Mr. and Mrs. Fleming, a lovely young couple who have donated just enough money to get in and eat shitty food, but not enough for Chung to actually give a fuck about you.” 

“And what are we looking for, exactly?” Dan said, disdain in his voice. “A big fucking paper with the words ‘My Super Secret Plan to Kidnap Catherine and Destroy America by Danny Chung’; maybe with his signtaure on it as well?”

“Could you at least pretend to give a shit about this?” Amy said. “ Aren’t you with one in charge of Catherine’s security, and -” she lowered her voice melodramatically, “almost lost your life saving her?”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think Chung’s our guy. He’s already got America eating out of the palm of his hand. Why the fuck would he jeopardize that by kidnapping Catherine? He’d make Selina an object of sympathy in the eyes of the public, instead of just making her hated, like she is now. If he keeps letting her get in her own way, then he’ll be President in a few years, instead of her.” He stopped at the look on Amy’s face. “Oh, don’t tell me you don’t agree.”

“Chung’s been slimy from the start, and I don’t really trust your judgement.” Amy said, turning to Mike for help. It was an utter waste - his attempt was now on a chocolate frosted doughnut, attempting to keep the sprinkles from ending up in his mustache. 

“Listen guys -” Mike broke off from his eating. “I know that you’re not thrilled with this assignment; but just go to the party, break into some guy’s most personal possessions, and take all the information he has. It’s your American duty.” 

“Great plan.” Dan said, getting up and brushing past Mike, who was now attempting to wipe the sprinkles off of his suit. 

*

“Where are you going?” Amy asked, as Dan tread the familiar path to the Veep’s office. “We’re supposed to go home and pack. We have to be at the airport in thirty minutes.” 

“You might be happy about breaking into the house of one of the most loved governors’ in America with Mike as your contact, but I’m not. I’m getting Selina to give us Kent or Ben.” 

“Kent is heading up an operation in Italy at the moment, and Ben is charge of Selina and Catherine’s security while all this is going on. Nobody’s going to switch their plans for you.” 

Dan paused at the door to Selina’s outer office. “Listen, you go home and tell your limp dick boyfriend that you have to go to Spain or wherever to do some Secret Service shit for Selina. I’ll be here trying to get a contact that makes it a priority to make sure we don’t die.” 

“Fuck off Dan.” Amy followed him into the outer offices, fuming. The office was buzzing at the moment, people trying to contain the media crisis that was Catherine’s almost kidnapping.

“I’m not at liberty to talk about that. Which means that if you ask me again, I’ll make it so that Secret Service will taser you if you even so much as look at a picture of the Veep.” Sue slammed down the phone, looking up angrily. “What do you want?” 

“Hey Sue.” Dan said, attempting to grin charmingly but failing in the face of her anger. “Listen, I need to see the Vice President.” 

“She’s busy, and she doesn’t have any time in her schedule today.”

“It’s a matter of national security -”

“Dan, please. You’re a Secret Service agent who made a lucky break saving Catherine today. Good for you, but the rest of us are caught up in an media shit storm. You saw Selina once today to receive her thanks, and that’s enough. So now would you please go do what Amy suggested?”

“Fuck off?”

“That. Exactly. Thank you.” Sue returned to taking phone calls, completely ignoring Dan and Amy.

“That’s fine Sue, thanks.” Amy grabbed Dan and pulled him out of the office. “Told you.”

Dan was looking back at the office murderously. “Secret Service my ass...”

“That’s our cover story genesis. What, were you expecting to tell everyone you were a fucking secret agent when you signed up?” Amy rolled her eyes. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to present my cover story to Ed.” She winced as a thought occurred to her. “Annnnnd I was supposed to meet his parents tonight. Fuck.” She lowered her head in defeat, slouching off.

“See you in twenty minutes.” Dan called behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to see that he was smirking. 

“Where are you going in twenty minutes?” This time Amy did turn around, to see Jonah standing in front of her, eyes eager. He lowered his voice. “Somewhere on a mission?”

“Shut the fuck up, Jonah.” This time Dan joined them, happy to be taking his irritated attitude out on someone other than Amy. 

“C’mon, you know I can keep a secret.” Jonah nudged Amy with an elbow, then immediately regretted it when she touched her hand to her gun.

“Just because you know we’re more than Secret Service does not mean we spill details of confidential missions with you.” Amy said in her most bored tone, hoping to drive him away.

“I know more than Sue. I know more than Gary.” Jonah’s grinned again, clearly pleased at being more in the know than some of Selina’s most relied upon staff. 

“Great for you, you’re higher up than the bagman and the assistant.” Dan snapped. “The only fucking reason you know is because you’re the VP liaison, and you have to know it.” 

“Yeah, and who did they trust to be the VP liaison?” 

“Originally it was a cockroach, but he dropped out, so they decided to get someone with less of his brains and good looks.” Amy said, trying to herd them all to the front doors. She didn’t want to make a scene here in the hallway. Although she really didn’t have much to look forward to - just a bunch of sighing and “We need to talk about the future of our relationship” talks from Ed. That she would undoubtably have to blow off to go spy on Minnesota's governor. 

“You know what Amy -” Amy glanced around and before Jonah could finish his sentence, she swept his feet out from under him. He landed hard on the marble floor, the breath knocked out of him. She slammed her foot down on his chest and give him a glare that had stopped trained assassins in their steps. 

“Nicely done.” Dan opened the door and Amy rushed through, leaving Jonah wheezing behind her on, still on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Minnesota had lots of trees. And water.

That was as much as Amy could say for the land as she flew over it. After staring at her case file for an hour, ignoring Dan’s smug face, she switched her gaze to staring out the window of the jet, still ignoring Dan’s smug face. She secretly wondered if she could bribe the pilot to throw Dan out of jet, sans parachute. But considering that the plane was government property, she was guessing the answer would unfortunately be ‘no’.

“Ed broke up with you.” Dan said, grinning.

Couldn’t hurt to ask though.

“There was no break-up.” Amy said, not taking her face from the window. She started counting lakes to keep her temper down. “He simply said we needed to take a break and think about what we wanted from the relationship.”

“Let me guess what he wants. Marriage. Kids. Commitment.” Dan said, horror in his voice.

“I don’t know why you’re so smug about this. I was only dating him for my cover.” 

“Yeah. If you ask me -”

“I didn’t.”

“-you’re a little too work oriented. I mean, dating someone for a month or two is fine for a cover story, but fucking Ed for two years? Don’t you think that’s just taking it a little too far?”

“And fucking a new rising star in the D.C. area every couple of weeks is better?” Currently, she counted twenty lakes. Jesus, didn’t this state have anything else in it?

“Gets me up to speed on the Washington gossip. You’re not the only one who can fuck and spy at the same time.”

Amy got up from her seat, unable to stomach any more of the current conversation. “I’m going to go change for tonight.”

Dan reopened his case folder, resuming his reading. “Wear something tight. Remember Chung’s motto ‘You have to go down to go up’.”

*

Amy’s dress wasn’t as tight has Dan - or Chung - would have probably liked, but it still made Dan’s eyes pop out of his head in a very satisfying way. As they walked up to Chung’s front door, Dan couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Specifically, her chest. 

“The governor of Minnesota is going to love you.” He said, one arm wrapping around her waist. She squirmed uncomfortably, but didn’t say anything. They needed to pose as a married couple for just one night. Of course, they didn’t need to pose as a happily married couple, but Amy figured she’d wait until at least dinner to shoot Dan in his kneecap.

Chung’s estate was gorgeous. An old sprawling house that Chung had remolded himself, it was enormous and beautiful. Everything about the house was modest but elegant. Nothing tacky, not pretentious. The grounds that the house was located on were large and beautiful. Most of the land was forest, where Chung would sometimes invite constitutes or political friends to come up and hunt. The chunk of land that was Chung’s backyard was small in comparison to the rest of his land, but huge to the human eye. It led to the coupe-de-grace of Chung’s estate - Lake James. Chung had no neighbors, he was surrounded by the forest as far as the eye could see. 

The house and its land had been featured at least three times on the news over the last two years. Amy knew, because she had witnessed the fits Selina had threw every time Chung got more publicity.

“This place is going to take forever to search.” Dan mumbled. 

“We’ll split up.” Amy said, cheerful at the idea.

“Great.” Dan said, getting even more irritated.

“What? If your suspicion about Chung is correct, then we won’t find anything and we can go back to searching for Catherine’s real abductor.” 

“Just because I don’t think Chung didn’t kidnap Catherine doesn’t mean that his security team won’t beat the crap out of us if we get caught.” Dan said. 

“Really? You faced Catherine's big bad kidnappers, and now you’re scared of a security team?” Amy snorted.

“Half of Chung’s security is his old war buddies - they’ll pretty much do anything for him. And they are way more dangerous than a normal security team.” 

“Maybe they’ll shoot you and do me a favor.” Amy muttered under her breath. 

“Don’t get too hopeful.” Dan leaned closer to whisper in her ear, fingers trailing down from her waist to her ass. “Nobody’s been able to beat m -” Dan was abruptly cut off as Amy grabbed his hand and twisted, nearly dislocating the wrist. 

“We’re supposed to be undercover!” He groaned.

“Then stop groping me like a horny 18 year old. We’re supposed to be married. Married couples hate each other.” 

Dan opened his mouth to argue, then shrugged. “Actually, you make a good point.”

“Great.” Amy said, leading the way into Chung’s dining room.

“I mean it. My grandparents - hate each other. My parents - hate each other. My brother and his wife - hate each other. Although that might be because I slept with his wife right before the rehearsal dinner.”

Amy decided that she was just going to skip the kneecap and shoot Dan in the face.

*

As they sat at one of the small tables in the back of Chung’s dining room, glaring at anyone who dared approach them, Amy and Dan mapped out their strategy for the night. 

“I take second floor, you take basement. Whoever finishes first gets to the third floor.”

“That’s extremely simplistic.” Amy said. 

“But it’ll work.” Dan said. 

“I don’t -” She stopped talking when a hopeful couple came over to join their table, only to immediately turn around at the menace on Amy’s face. The fact that she was clutching her dinner knife in her hand probably helped.

“You’re good at that.” Dan grinned.

Amy didn’t even look at him, her eyes moving to the head table, where Chung was schmoozing with his big time donators. He was starting to move away, down to the tables in the back. “Let’s just do your stupid plan.”

“Fine by me.” Dan and Amy slipped out the door of the dining room.

Amy slipped the dinner knife into her dress.

*

Chung’s house was wider than it was tall, so it took Amy almost two hours to do quick, neat scans of his second floor. She didn’t get to look as throughly as she might have hoped, but she had scanned his rooms for any hiding spots, for any weapons, for any plans. Nothing. Not the slightest hint that Chung was doing anything amiss. 

Dismayed that Dan - God forbid - might have been right, Amy made her way up to the third floor. This floor was smaller, and Amy moved through the first couple of rooms easily. When she opened the door to a small study, she was almost expecting to find nothing. She did a scan of the room, finding nothing suspicious - until she came to the desk. 

It stood off to the side of the study, small and inconspicuous, a place to open mail and make plans. She picked the locks on the desk drawers. The first drawer held nothing but papers on new legislation, and at first look, so did the second drawer. Amy was just about to slide it closed when she caught a glimpse of something dark beneath all of the papers. 

As she moved manilla folders and piles of paper out of the way, she realized that the dark object was a laptop. She grabbed it and opened it, quickly starting it. She paused for a moment as the computer started up, trying to make herself stay aware of her surroundings. Even though she was itching to discover the computer’s contents, she made herself pause to make sure she didn’t hear anyone nearby. 

Nothing. No footsteps, no breathing, no -

“What’s up, pumpkin?” 

Amy’s jumped a foot in the air, drawing her gun. She turned around to see Dan standing in the doorway, leaning casually against it, a smart ass smirk on his face. He was looking at the holster around her bare thigh, which the dress had fallen away from when she had grabbed the gun.

“What the fuck, Dan?” She hissed, not putting her gun away. She was trying to decide if she could shoot him and make it look like an accident.

“Nothing on the first floor. He does have a weapons room, but it’s for hunting. I combed that room for at least a half an hour, it’s clean.” His attention shifted to the laptop that had fallen to the floor. “What you’d find?”

“Chung was trying to hide something.” Amy holstered her gun and picked up the laptop.

“I’ve got something for this.” Dan removed a small flash drive from his pocket and plugged it into the computer. Instantly it broke the password protection, allowing them to look at Chung’s files. Amy stared, impressed despite herself.

“Kent told me about it.” Dan grinned. “Said all you have to do is ask for one. And threaten about five different people.” 

Amy wondered if she was supposed to defend Mike as a good contact. She thought of how he’d never helped her get any devices like Dan’s, and decided against it. 

They went through the files quickly, until Amy stopped, staring at them. There was a pattern here. It took her a minute to see it, but she felt elated when she finally made the connection.

“About 75% of these files have to do with Furlong.” She said to Dan. 

“What?”

“Background on Furlong’s career; Furlong’s associates with just about everyone in D.C., including Selina; and...” Amy smiled triumphantly, “...details from Chung’s meetings with Furlong for the last couple of months.” She turned to Dan. “Have you heard anything about Chung meeting with Furlong?”

“No.” Dan leaned forward, more interested now. “It’s almost impossible to keep something that quiet in D.C. for months. How the hell -”

“It would have to be for something very covert.” Amy said. 

“Like the kidnapping of a mutual enemy’s daughter?” Dan said.

“Exactly.”

“Alright. Let’s copy the files and -”

Just then, as they sat huddled over Chung’s computer, they heard the creak of a floorboard. It was quickly followed by footsteps coming up the hallway. Amy reached into her dress for the dinner knife, just as the footsteps stopped outside the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Just as the footsteps stopped outside the door, Amy grabbed the knife in her dress and brought it out. She grabbed Dan by the collar of his jacket and threw him against the wall. Before he could right himself, she raced over to him and pressed him against the wall, shoving her knife against his neck. 

“You bastard!” She screamed as loud as she possibly could. She kept her eyes wide open, not attempting to blink. She could feel them watering already as she tightened her grip on the knife. 

“Amy, what the hell -” Dan whispered, but stopped when the door opened. 

“What’s going on here?” Roger Furlong walked in, his assistant following close behind him. 

“You wanna know what the hell’s going on here?” Amy screamed, trying to look frustrated with Dan. It wasn’t very hard. “Mr. Grab Ass can’t keep his hands to himself.” She turned to Dan, raising the dinner knife threateningly. “You promised you’d stopped after the maid!”

“I’m...sorry?” Dan said. Amy tried to keep from rolling her eyes. For a spy, he should better than this.

“This is just like before. First the nanny than the cook than the maid than the waitress...” Amy’s eyes were finally dry enough to produce tears, much to her relief. In her experience, nothing scared men more than a woman’s tears. 

“Listen honey, I’m sure your husband’s sorry...” Furlong said. He glanced to Dan, who fervently nodded. “But you can’t be up here, this is a private area.”

“What are you doing here then?” Dan asked. Amy was relieved to see that he was attempting to act - he looked more like a pissed husband than overly curious in Furlong’s actions.

“I’m making a call.” Furlong said.

“In one of Chung’s private offices. On the third floor, away from the party?” Dan asked.

“It’s...” Furlong looked at the skeptical Dan and sighed angrily. “It’s a call to my mistress.”

Thanking fate for that cue, Amy covered her face with her hands and faked silent sobs. “Mistresses! All men have mistresses!” She sunk down to the floor, trying to sound like all the women in those reality shows her sister adored.” I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” She squealed, trying to make her words sound as watery as possible.

Will came forward and patted her on the shoulder. “Maybe we should come back another time...” He said, looking from Amy to Furlong. 

“Ah...” Furlong glanced at the weepy Amy, who promptly amplified her sobs. “Yeah. Yeah, ok.”

“Thank you. For giving us privacy in this...troubling family time.” Dan said, still looking shocked at Amy’s behavior.

“No problem.” Furlong gestured to Amy. “Get her cleaned up before you go downstairs. Jesus.” He shook his head as he walked out.

Will followed, turning back to Amy and Dan. “I just want to say, I hope everything works out for the best.” Then he closed the door.

Dan stared after them, open mouthed, until their footsteps retreated. Then he looked down at Amy. “What the hell?”

“It was either that or pretend we were having sex.” Amy said. She stood up, dress and make-up already fixed. “I chose the more appealing option.”

“That was really well-done.” Dan said, and he suddenly began to grin as an idea occurred to him. “Have a lot of break-ups in your time?”

“Actually, I learned all that from my sister.” Amy said. “That was a tame version of what she normally does.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Amy looked at him. “Actually, if you want to see her version, I’d recommend giving her a call. She’d love to date an ex of mine.”

*

As they made their way downstairs, Amy kicked herself mentally. When that was finished, she started slapping herself mentally. She had called Dan an ex? Why? What in the hell had possibly compelled her to make a former partnership and a few one night stands sound like an actual relationship?

Sure, Dan had been her partner for a couple years (well, right up until the Paris incident), and yeah, they had occasionally slept together when Dan was horny and Amy was bored, but to call it a relationship...

Amy wondered if she could shoot herself with her own gun. Eventually, she decided against it because if she died, then Dan would finish up the mission alone and take all the glory for himself, the fuckweasel. 

Dan seemed to sense how awkward she felt as well, because he didn’t talk until they were safely out of Chung’s house and back in their car. As Dan pulled out of Chung’s very long and undoubtedly expensive driveway, Amy dug into her purse for her phone. 

“I don’t think Furlong was going to call his mistress.” Dan said. 

“No shit, really?” Despite the sarcasm, Amy was glad to have something else to think about.

“He was there to meet Chung.” Dan said, ignoring Amy.

“Congratulations, you’ve just figured out the most obvious clue ever.” Amy said, flipping open her phone.

“I don’t see you - Who are you calling?” 

“Who do you think?” Amy said, eyes still focused on the tiny screen.

“Don’t tell me you’re calling Ed?” Dan rolled his eyes, hands clenching the steering wheel. “Let me guess, he likes to check in with you every night.” 

“I’m not calling Ed. It’s the second worst person you can think of.”

“Jonah?” 

“Third worst.”

“Hey guys!” Mike’s voice rang over the speakers, making Dan wince and slump into his seat.

“Mike, we’ve got some intel. We think Furlong colluded with Chung to plan Catherine’s kidnapping.” 

“That makes sense. That guy was always a douchebag anyway.”

“Really? You’re judging whether someone is guilty of committing the crime of kidnapping the vice president’s daughter based on a douchebag scale?” 

“Hey, don’t knock it Danny. You’re on that scale too.” Mike chuckled at his own joke. 

“Mike, shut up. Dan, try not to drive us into a tree.” Amy looked out of the window. She could see the blue of the lake, glimpsed through gaps in the trees, flashing by. “Listen, we need to talk about what we’re going to do with this.”

“How solid is this intel?”

“Not enough to convict him.” Amy said, rubbing her temples. “I’m thinking I should do a stakeout at Furlong’s for a while, see what I can find.”

“We should do a stakeout.” Dan said. “As in, us. Plural form.” 

“Shut up Dan.” Amy said. “You can go back and take care of Catherine.” 

“The stakeout’s a good idea, Amy.” Mike agreed. “But Dan stays with you. Vice President’s orders. And trust me, you do not want to go against her orders right now. She’s been spinning for four straight hours.” 

“Fine.” Amy growled. She hung up the phone, throwing it back into her purse.

“That was a really pathetic attempt to get rid of me.” Dan said, smirking at her. 

“Shut up and watch the fucking road.”

“Did you really think Mike was just going to give in?”

“Dan...” Amy said, noticing headlights coming up in their rear view mirror. 

“I’m watching the road, okay?” But he wasn’t, he was looking at Amy. He barely glanced at the road, let alone the mirror.

“Dan!” Amy screamed, reaching for the wheel. But just as her fingers touched it, the car behind them rammed into them, sending them spinning off course.

Amy saw trees, the road and headlights flash past them as the car spun around at a dizzying pace. Absurdly her first thought was of a carnival ride she used to go on as a child. Her second horrifying thought was that the car was spinning right off the road and into the lake. 

She fumbled for her seat belt, before before she could try to free herself, the car spun into the water. Amy’s head slammed into the side window, letting her see the water rush up to meet her before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Tell me what you think in the comments!


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